End of summer report

My dear friend Orin (I'm honored to call him a friend) sent me a copy of his recently published book, Lost Souls and Mad Saints: Finding Faith In The Wilderness of Mental Illness, which had a profound effect on me as I read it. Besides being a dip into the world of mental illness and spirituality and how those two can mix, it's also the story of Orin's life facilitating that mixture. Reading it gave me a deeper appreciation for Orin, who has always struck me as an incredibly compassionate person, but I had no idea how well he put that compassion to work. I don't think it was his intention to reveal those things about himself in the book, but it came through between the lines.

Another result of reading Orin's book was an increased awareness of how comfortable and easy my life is. Partly because I have a strong community of family and friends (though at a distance) and I feel that support daily. Partly because I don't have a "broken brain", as he refers to mental illness in his book. Partly because I have a wonderful partner and a sweet little home.

I'm also reading another book that's having a big effect on me, Howard Zinn's The People's History of the United States. He really debunks the myth that the US used to be of, for and by the people, and somehow we've just taken a wrong turn lately and need to get back on track. He thoroughly documents the continual struggle between the working people and the priviledged few from the beginning of this country until now. What I'm learning is there's always been a big gap between the rich (who governed) and the poor (who worked). There is no "we, the people" that speaks for all Americans. There's always been politicians and wealthy merchants telling the poor "we're all in this together" while writing the laws to increase their fortune and power. I'm only on the third chapter, so stay tuned....



Here's me and Ben reading Orin's book. Anyone who reads our blog regularly will notice a pattern: me in the papasan and Courtney napping with Ben (as seen below). Depending on the age and energy of the reader, it probably looks really boring or really yummy.

Well, it's not all reading and sleeping for us. There's also shopping. We bought a wood stove this week. Hoorah! Which included having to pick out a hearth to go under the stove. It was quite a big project for us. We looked at stoves around Corvallis and Albany. Did lots of comparing of size and effeciency and price. Finally decided on a balance of just the right functionality and esthetics. Now to install it and wait for the rains!

Actually this week has not been much about reading, sleeping and shopping for Courtney. He first dug a trench all around our house and now is laying the pipe for a new drainage system. He's bravely figuring it out as he goes along (with advice from a very helpful contractor) but I owe him a huge debt of gratitude for what he's taken on.




As you can see, Ben is growing bigger and cuter every day. We have lots of fun taking care of him. Courtney is the consumate diaper changer, skilled at getting 5 oz of milk into Ben and really great at interacting with him and noticing each new thing he does. It's such a fascinating time of growth and change.

That's it for this week. We're helping organize a fundraiser dinner in September for the Hour Exchange (local currency program we joined as soon as we got here) and that's helping us meet people who have similar interests to ours. Also getting to know people in the local Veterans For Peace group and Alternatives to War members. Courtney went to the second Corvallis Open Forum today and there were more speakers than last week, so it's growing.

Hope everyone reading this is well and happy. Keep in touch. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

With love,

Valori

Loss and gain

My dad died three years ago today. I'm going to the coast with my mom. Seems like a good thing to do today. Dad loved the ocean. For the 15 years he and my mom lived on the Monterey Peninsula, Dad never lost his passion for watching the waves crashing over the rocks. No matter the weather you could find them having a picnic dinner on their favorite bench between Lovers Point and Cannery Row. Pelicans flying over the waves at sunset--that's something my dad loved to see.

Speaking of sunsets, below is a photo Courtney took from our backyard facing west. Admittedly not every evening sky is this spectacular, but most nights it's beautiful when we're sitting on our back deck and having dinner at our picnic table. We most always comment on how lucky we feel to be in the Great Pacific Northwest.




This has been our first week alone--just me and Courtney in the house--now that Aaron is back in Pacific Grove. I'm thankful that his school has a schedule of nine weeks on and then two weeks off. That will be a long time apart but it'll work.

Meanwhile, we hopped into political stuff. We attended an event organized by Veterans for Peace in support of Lt. Ehren Watada who is the first commissioned officer to refuse to return to Iraq. The event was moderated by an OSU professor who teaches Peace Studies. We got a feel for the peace community here--well-informed, thoughtful, frustrated, active. Events like this have a double benefit because we educate ourselves about what's going on, but also meet potential friends.

The next evening Oregon Representative Pete DeFazio held a town meeting at the Benton County Library in downtown Corvallis, and we attended that along with about 75 others. Both Courtney and I were really impressed with DeFazio. Courtney wished he could sit down to coffee and a talk with him. I wished that I had taped the hour-long meeting because he had such good answers to the questions and my brain retained such a small amount of what he said. Anyway, as our Helen says, he's a smart cookie.

Then Saturday Courtney moderated the first in a weekly series of "Corvallis Open Forum". (For the past few weeks he'd been helping organize a venue at the riverside park downtown where anyone could get up on the soapbox--literally--and have 3 minutes to talk.) They had a small turnout, to be expected for the first one, but Courtney claimed it a success. No one got hurt or killed, those who attended got to stand up and speak their minds, and it's over with! I think he's quite brave to put himself out there like that. Hopefully their efforts will pay off and the Open Forums will grow and spread. Thomas Paine would be proud!

Corvallis has a reputation of being predominately white, well-educated and liberal. But there's actually more diversity than that here. Saturday afternoon we attended a Race Unity picnic organized by the local NAACP, among others. Each foray we make out into the community gives us a fuller picture of what's here and I think we're both feeling like this has been a good move for us.




But there's nothing like old friends. It was exciting for Courtney to have his dear friend Rosanna, and her sister Lashawna, stop by this week on their way through Oregon. It was, of course, a sweltering hot day but we found an air-conditioned taqueria and had a great time talking. We got to show them our sweet little home and our gardens and blackberries. They got to meet Maya and Ben (who slept the whole time). It was a brief but good visit.

Life continues to have such richness and texture. We both feel so blessed and grateful. And what more can we ask for?

Thanks for being interested in our lives in Corvallis.

See you next week,

Valori

Many joys in life but much sadness too

Alot of our focus since moving here has been to keep my stress level as low as possible to help me recover from health problems that have plagued me the past five years, figuring that they were stress-induced. It was with that in mind that we took the job of caring for Ben while Maya and Eder are at work. What a nice job to have and we get to stay at home to do it. And Courtney and I get to do it together. It's good for everyone.




Another tactic for stress reduction has been to avoid looking at the news. I know it's bad out there but I haven't been able to face the details. I've been focusing on our garden and our home and my family and that seems to have been really good for me. But this week the outside world came back into focus and sadness set in on many levels.

First Kerry Sissem called to tell us that our friend Katharina's son had been in a boating accident on a lake in El Salvador and his body had not been found. Twenty-one years old and about to start his senior year at the University of Colorado in Boulder. Katharina's only child.




It's scary these reminders of how fragile and fleeting and unpredictable life is. Here one moment and gone the next. Everything is growing and flowering and producing, and then there's death.



Another source of sadness for me was Aaron leaving this week for home and school in Monterey. He won't return here til October for his two-week fall break. Though the quiet and stillness are probably good for my physical recovery, there's a hole in my heart and I miss him. With all the new scare around flying and airplanes and airports it seems especially scary to be putting an 11-year-old on a big old airplane by himself and sending him far away.



A few days before Aaron left a cockatoo showed up in our yard, obviously friendly to humans and looking for food. We fed him some millet and gave him water and he let Aaron get quite close but not actually touch him. The next couple days we heard his call and saw him in the trees but he hasn't made another visit into our yard. For a moment there we thought we had inherited a pet from who knows where. I guess we'll wait and see if he returns.



The last sad point I'll raise is the war in Lebanon. It's a strange feeling to look at Ben and all our other blessings here and feel so lucky, at the same time knowing that so many in Lebanon (including thousands in refugee camps) are suffering so. Especially the children.

In honor of Katharina's son Courtney and I sent a donation to Middle East Children's Alliance (http://www.mecaforpeace.org/ ). I just mention that in case anyone who reads our blog is looking for a way to send humanitarian aid to some of the most affected by the war in Lebanon.
MECA is taking food, medicine, bedding and water into the refugee camps around Beirut where tens of thousands of Palestinian refugees live.

To me it seems like an easy connection to make: the more our government backs the unbridled violence and aggression in the Middle East, the more hatred and reprisals will come our way. As the saying goes, we're busy making enemies faster than we can kill them. Well, that's not what I want us as a nation of people to be doing. And even though it's never enough, I feel ready to get back in the fray and add my energy to the movement for peace and justice. A better world is possible. I want to help make it so for all the Bens in the world.

Thanks as always for reading our blog,

Valori

First week of August but end of summer for Aaron

How can it already be time for Aaron to return to Monterey?! Seems like summer just got goin' and Aaron has to leave. His school starts next Monday. He's learned alot this summer, including how to care for an infant. He's a good uncle to Baby Ben.



We've all spent alot of time in the papasan this summer, reading, napping, feeding Ben and watching the birds in our back yard. Aaron and I have had an especially cozy time this last couple weeks, curling up together and reading for long stretches of time, particularly when it's hot in the afternoon. Typically the breezes pick up in the evening and by the time we have dinner on the deck it's usually quite pleasant. That's when we appreciate aloud summer in the Great Pacific Northwest.



Every morning recently Courtney goes out early to pick blackberries. There are hundreds ripe everyday both on the bushes that line our property and along the street. Aaron has been harvesting yellow squash and zucchini as well as green beans. Cherry tomatoes are starting to ripen and tomatillos are falling from the vines.



But all is not quiet and peaceful in our little Eden. Just next door at the Benton County Fairgrounds is the County Fair, with the screams of ferris wheel riders and the amplified voices of rodeo announcers and country singers. Aaron was lucky enough to have Maya and Courtney to take him to the Fair. I haven't the constitution for the heat and dust and crowds. From our back deck, during dinner, we listen to the evening's concert (for free, we always mention) and on our walks and bike rides we see the flashing lights and whirling of carnival rides. Tomorrow it's over and they'll clean it up and be gone til next year. Hoorah!



Meanwhile Courtney and Aaron have become super athletes, biking around town for hours at a time. The two of them are unflappable about long distances in the heat. They get out their map, plot their course and off they go. Maya and I, on the other hand, prefer long walks. (Maya does go bike riding with Courtney and Aaron when she can, but most often we load Ben in the Baby Bjorn front pack and take him along on a walk.)


There's much to be grateful for. I won't even attempt to list all our blessings. And at the same time, as we've said before, we miss our friends. And now there's an added pang of sadness as we prepare for Aaron to leave and not return til October. It will be the longest time he and I have ever been apart. Another rich texture (and mixture) of life, missing Aaron and yet appreciating that he is in a great school and with his dad and his friends.


Thanks as always for reading our blog,

Valori